Call Cannot be Completed as Dialed

So there he sits - my roommate - in his chair. From this perch, he runs the household with a mighty hand. From this chair, commands are issued. From this chair, children are corrected. From this chair of power, my roommate, is the king of his castle.

(Remote control located on coffee table - two feet from the chair) "Short curly haired girl! Hand me the remote control!"

(Stupid puggle barking outside) "Tall pretty girl! Take puggle out for a walk."

(Girlfriend walks through den in front of the chair) "Girlfriend! Bring me a glass of water!"

(Light in the kitchen is on) "Tall kid! Turn off that light!"

(Baby wanders out of the room unsupervised) "Short kid with glasses! Find the baby!"

My roommate is the man. Just ask him. He'll tell you. People in the house wilt in the presence of his intellect. They tremble when he is upset. They weep when he leaves home and rejoice upon his return.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever. Do me a favor. Call my roommate on his cell. Send him a text. See what happens. I'll tell you what will happen - nothing. Absolutely nothing.

The all knowing, wise, powerful, roommate left his BlackBerry on his car the other day and drove away with it still on the hood. He didn't realize that he had done it until thirty minutes later. Genius. How I wish I could have seen his face when he realized what he had done! Oh how I wish I could have seen him running into oncoming traffic to rescue the shattered remains of his BlackBerry! Oh how I wish I could have seen him trying to fit the battery back into the phone!

What a doorknob!