Raining again. This time last year we were worried about an impending drought. Normal rainfall amounts for this area this time of year is around 4 inches. This time last year, the official rain gauge read about 2 inches. The official rain gauge as of last night, before the rain today, measured right around 9 inches. The Mississippi River is flooding, local streams and creeks are overflowing their banks. Things are not looking too good in the local low lying areas. I feel for those people in danger of being flooded.
Rainy days make me lazy. I don't know what it is about rainy weather, but all my energy is mysteriously sapped from my body whenever it rains. In fact, today I probably slept more hours than I spent awake. I did go for a walk late in the evening just to shake the cobwebs from my severe case of nap head, but I came back early because it started to rain again. I came back inside, ate a little supper, and crashed on the couch.
I was so lethargic today that while I was napping this afternoon, the short curly haired kid tried to put sunglasses on me. Ordinarily, I'd swat her hand away or move to another room, but today, the rain had taken all of my reactive energy away. She covered me with blankets, sat on my head, whacked me on the stomach, and tried to read a book to me. She poked me with a drumstick, shoved a plastic baby doll in my face, and mispronounced my name in a horrific shout directly into my ear. She pried open my eyes with her sticky fingers, sneezed in my face, and bounced a sippy cup off my head. She tried to squeeze the life out of me after she heard the "I Love You" Barney song blaring from the television in the living room, and then she started reading the book to me again- poking me in the ribs every time I appeared to be distracted.
The rain is supposed to be gone sometime tomorrow afternoon. I sure hope I survive long enough to enjoy the sunshine again.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Sunday, March 30, 2008
A Beautiful Surprise
Everyone except my roommate is in bed now. The weekend is officially over now. This is the time of the week that I hate the most. The kids are in bed early because they will have school tomorrow. The girlfriend has been preoccupied all afternoon doing laundry and getting ready for the upcoming work week. My roommate works on Sundays, so he is in and out all day, and when he finally gets home for the evening, he is usually in a bad mood and generally no fun to be around. He'll sit in front of the television for hours tonight reading books and working on the computer as if not going to bed at a reasonable hour will delay the inevitable Monday morning sunrise. There is a silent sadness that hangs over everything on Sunday nights here at the house. Weekends are never long enough, and it seems as if the work/school weeks are getting longer. The tall kid, the short kid with glass, and the taller pretty girl are all sleeping in the same room tonight. It's like they know that the weekend is over and they are hanging on to their freedom for just a few hours longer.
The weekend was rainy, too. The rain prevented outdoor activities, so we were all inside together for three days. Ordinarily, this would have been pretty stressful for me, but something wonderful happened Friday evening. Out of the blue, the short curly haired girl disappeared for the night! One of the girlfriend's buddies who was home for the weekend from a vo-tech school in Alabama asked if the short curly haired girl could come to her house to spend the night. I almost fainted! Someone actually wanted the short curly haired girl to come to their house! Naturally, I thought it was a hoax. But then Alabama showed up at the house, and the girlfriend started gathering the short curly haired girl's things. Soon, they were all going downstairs to the car. I ran outside to spy, and as I watched, I saw the girlfriend putting the short curly haired girl's car seat into Alabama's car. I grew excited, and yet, I still wasn't convinced. The girlfriend picked up the short curly haired girl and put her into the car seat. I watched as she kissed the kid goodbye. This was too good to be true! The car cranked to life and Alabama backed out of the driveway with the short curly haired girl in tow! The girlfriend came back inside and my roommate stood on the balcony watching the car drive off. I, on the other hand, stayed outside in the driveway for at least ten minutes waiting to see if the car would come back. Once I was satisfied that she was gone, I skipped back up the stairs and into the house. Freedom! Freedom! Unexpected gifts are always the best surprises!
I slept like a rock that night.
The weekend was rainy, too. The rain prevented outdoor activities, so we were all inside together for three days. Ordinarily, this would have been pretty stressful for me, but something wonderful happened Friday evening. Out of the blue, the short curly haired girl disappeared for the night! One of the girlfriend's buddies who was home for the weekend from a vo-tech school in Alabama asked if the short curly haired girl could come to her house to spend the night. I almost fainted! Someone actually wanted the short curly haired girl to come to their house! Naturally, I thought it was a hoax. But then Alabama showed up at the house, and the girlfriend started gathering the short curly haired girl's things. Soon, they were all going downstairs to the car. I ran outside to spy, and as I watched, I saw the girlfriend putting the short curly haired girl's car seat into Alabama's car. I grew excited, and yet, I still wasn't convinced. The girlfriend picked up the short curly haired girl and put her into the car seat. I watched as she kissed the kid goodbye. This was too good to be true! The car cranked to life and Alabama backed out of the driveway with the short curly haired girl in tow! The girlfriend came back inside and my roommate stood on the balcony watching the car drive off. I, on the other hand, stayed outside in the driveway for at least ten minutes waiting to see if the car would come back. Once I was satisfied that she was gone, I skipped back up the stairs and into the house. Freedom! Freedom! Unexpected gifts are always the best surprises!
I slept like a rock that night.
Friday, March 28, 2008
And me without my keys
Last night's post ended with a couple of unanswered questions: 1) what would my roommate do today on his day off, and 2) would it rain?
Let me go ahead and end the suspense for you. My roommate slept late, AND it rained. I hate days like this. When I woke up this morning it was cloudy. Earlier in the morning around 5, a thunderstorm moved through, but by the time the kids and the girlfriend were moving about, the rain had stopped. I heard the weather guy on the television say that a cold front was moving in and that the temperatures were in the process of dropping. It would not be as warm today as it had been the past few days. I thought to myself that I should go ahead and take my walk early, because the rest of the day wasn't going to shape up too well. So, when the tall kid went outside to put the dopey dogs out in the back yard, I went out to go get the paper. I must have gotten distracted, because when I went back to the house to go in, the door was locked and the girlfriend was gone. I was locked out.
I went up to the balcony door to see if I could get the roommate's attention, but I failed. He was fast asleep. I did not have a key with me, and I don't do cell phones, so I had to wait for the roommate to wake up before I could get back in. Ordinarily, the short curly haired girl gets up around 8. However, this morning, she decided to wake up around six. This meant that she was already back in my roommate's room in bed with him. I couldn't rely on her to help my cause either. But then again, what else is new?
As I waited, I thought to myself that sitting around outside was not so bad. The sun was hidden behind clouds and the temperature was falling, but ultimately, things were okay. Until . . . it started raining again. Great. Just great. I pounded on the back door as hard as I could, but it was useless.
Finally, around 11 or so, my idiot roommate saw me standing outside and opened the door. I quickly came inside, because I was wet, cold, and irritated. As I made my way across the den to head downstairs, my roommate asked me the dumbest question, "Hey man? What were you doing outside? Didn't you know it was cold and raining?"
Rocket scientist, that guy.
Let me go ahead and end the suspense for you. My roommate slept late, AND it rained. I hate days like this. When I woke up this morning it was cloudy. Earlier in the morning around 5, a thunderstorm moved through, but by the time the kids and the girlfriend were moving about, the rain had stopped. I heard the weather guy on the television say that a cold front was moving in and that the temperatures were in the process of dropping. It would not be as warm today as it had been the past few days. I thought to myself that I should go ahead and take my walk early, because the rest of the day wasn't going to shape up too well. So, when the tall kid went outside to put the dopey dogs out in the back yard, I went out to go get the paper. I must have gotten distracted, because when I went back to the house to go in, the door was locked and the girlfriend was gone. I was locked out.
I went up to the balcony door to see if I could get the roommate's attention, but I failed. He was fast asleep. I did not have a key with me, and I don't do cell phones, so I had to wait for the roommate to wake up before I could get back in. Ordinarily, the short curly haired girl gets up around 8. However, this morning, she decided to wake up around six. This meant that she was already back in my roommate's room in bed with him. I couldn't rely on her to help my cause either. But then again, what else is new?
As I waited, I thought to myself that sitting around outside was not so bad. The sun was hidden behind clouds and the temperature was falling, but ultimately, things were okay. Until . . . it started raining again. Great. Just great. I pounded on the back door as hard as I could, but it was useless.
Finally, around 11 or so, my idiot roommate saw me standing outside and opened the door. I quickly came inside, because I was wet, cold, and irritated. As I made my way across the den to head downstairs, my roommate asked me the dumbest question, "Hey man? What were you doing outside? Didn't you know it was cold and raining?"
Rocket scientist, that guy.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Rainy Friday?
Friday is coming. Technically, I suppose it is already here at this point. Friday is my roommate's day off. I wonder what we will do? Sleep late? Go to Sam's Club? Yard work?
Probably none of the above. I'm sure our day will be involved with chasing that curly haired girl all over the house. To be accurate, my roommate will be the one doing the chasing. I plan to steer clear.
It is supposed to rain tomorrow. I hate rainy Fridays. Who knows, though if the forecast is accurate? Weather people around here seem to predict the weather solely with a Farmer's Almanac and a trick knee. I suppose if it really does rain, I'll have to take a nap. My favorite place to nap when it rains is the tall kid's bed. He has a double bed that is pushed up next to a wall with a window in it. I like to hear the sound of rain against the window pane.
By the way, if it doesn't rain tomorrow, I'm going for a walk to be on the look out for that stupid stray dog, my roommate played with the other night. It's time to show that pooch who's boss around here, and the boss says no more dogs. Someone needs to put their foot down around here!
Probably none of the above. I'm sure our day will be involved with chasing that curly haired girl all over the house. To be accurate, my roommate will be the one doing the chasing. I plan to steer clear.
It is supposed to rain tomorrow. I hate rainy Fridays. Who knows, though if the forecast is accurate? Weather people around here seem to predict the weather solely with a Farmer's Almanac and a trick knee. I suppose if it really does rain, I'll have to take a nap. My favorite place to nap when it rains is the tall kid's bed. He has a double bed that is pushed up next to a wall with a window in it. I like to hear the sound of rain against the window pane.
By the way, if it doesn't rain tomorrow, I'm going for a walk to be on the look out for that stupid stray dog, my roommate played with the other night. It's time to show that pooch who's boss around here, and the boss says no more dogs. Someone needs to put their foot down around here!
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Domesticated and Stupid
My roommate is an idiot. He is nearly 40 years old, has a full-time job, several kids, and a mini-van; and yet, one of his simple pleasures in life is to sneak up on people in the house to see if he can scare them. Last night, as I was dutifully writing a post for my blog, my infantile roommate sneaked up on me. Right before I was about to post my blog, my roommate leaped out from behind a door and made a horrendous balloon deflating noise with his mouth. I nearly fell out of my chair in fear, and in the process of falling, I must have hit a key on the computer keyboard that deleted my entry before it was posted. Oh, he had a big laugh over the whole incident! I on the other hand, was disgusted. What a moron, he is. Then, I realized that my entire post had been lost. Quite frankly, I was too tired to re-type everything, so I just went to bed. My apologies.
Tonight, however, I will re-create yesterday's unpublished blog. I could talk about today and forget about yesterday, but yesterday's happenings are to precious to eliminate. Plus, it goes to reinforcing my assertions that my roommate is an imbecile. Besides, today was pretty boring anyway . . .
Last night, before I got on the computer, I was snoozing on the couch in the den. My roommate was in the kitchen making lunches for the kids. The TV was on, the rest of the house was in bed, and it felt as if the household was winding down for the evening. Moments later, I heard my roommate pulling the garbage bag out of the trash can. He tied it up and slipped on his shoes to take the bag downstairs to the outside trash can in the carport. As he headed out of the door, I got off the couch to stretch a bit and to get some water from the kitchen. I stopped by the back door to look outside on my way to the kitchen.
I saw my roommate heading down the outside back stairs to the carport, when I realized the motion sensitive flood lights outside of the boys room had been activated. My roommate obviously had noticed the lights, too, because he had stopped his descent, and he was peering over the driveway. I saw it first : a big, dopey looking, chocolate Labrador had heard footsteps on the stairs and startled, sprinted out of our carport. I rolled my eyes. Why can't people keep these beasts locked up? Before I turned my head, I realized that my roommate had set the bag of garbage down on the steps.
I wish I could say that his action puzzled me, but I knew all too well what he was up to. In utter horror, I watched my roommate quietly pad down the remaining steps into the driveway. The dopey dog had escaped into the neighbor's yard, but my roommate whistled. "C'mere, puppy!" Whistle, whistle. "C'mere, doggie!" Snap, snap, pat leg. "C'mere, boy!"
The dopey dog stopped it's retreat on a dime and quickly returned to our driveway. My roommate was squatting down in a catcher's stance to receive the stray dog. It came up clumsily to my roommate, panting, drooling, and whimpering. I threw up a little bit in my mouth as I watched the scene unfold. Not my roommate though! He gently patted the beast on the head and rubbed it's chest. The dog slobbered and panted in utter joy that someone was petting it. I sat in disgust as I watched and listened to my roommate talk in that idiotic falsetto voice that people use only to talk to dogs and babies, "Hey buddy! Where are you from?" ("Mars," I sneered under my breath). "Oh! You're a girl, aren't you boy?" ("Idiot!" I thought). "Are you lost, girl? Oh, you're a sweet baby!" ("She ain't lost. She just wants our garbage. I've heard that pigs are cleaner animals . . . ")! "I wish I knew where you lived, girl! Oh, what a sweet puppy!" ("Puppy, my foot! That's an overweight old dog. It's dark outside, and I can see that from here!")
I sat and watched as my roommate bonded with this dog in our driveway. I feared the worst. What if he had so much compassion for this dog that he brought it inside? What if he planned on keeping this thing. As luck would have it, though, as quickly as the stray dog appeared, it suddenly ran away. THANKFULLY, my roommate let it go. Worst case scenario, he follows it and tries to make it come back. However instead, he went back for the bag of garbage, and tossed it in the can.
I silently moved away from the door as he made his way back inside. He never knew I witnessed him trying to woo a stray dog. Thirty minutes later, he scared the life out of me and I lost my blog.
The things I put up with around here . . . !
Tonight, however, I will re-create yesterday's unpublished blog. I could talk about today and forget about yesterday, but yesterday's happenings are to precious to eliminate. Plus, it goes to reinforcing my assertions that my roommate is an imbecile. Besides, today was pretty boring anyway . . .
Last night, before I got on the computer, I was snoozing on the couch in the den. My roommate was in the kitchen making lunches for the kids. The TV was on, the rest of the house was in bed, and it felt as if the household was winding down for the evening. Moments later, I heard my roommate pulling the garbage bag out of the trash can. He tied it up and slipped on his shoes to take the bag downstairs to the outside trash can in the carport. As he headed out of the door, I got off the couch to stretch a bit and to get some water from the kitchen. I stopped by the back door to look outside on my way to the kitchen.
I saw my roommate heading down the outside back stairs to the carport, when I realized the motion sensitive flood lights outside of the boys room had been activated. My roommate obviously had noticed the lights, too, because he had stopped his descent, and he was peering over the driveway. I saw it first : a big, dopey looking, chocolate Labrador had heard footsteps on the stairs and startled, sprinted out of our carport. I rolled my eyes. Why can't people keep these beasts locked up? Before I turned my head, I realized that my roommate had set the bag of garbage down on the steps.
I wish I could say that his action puzzled me, but I knew all too well what he was up to. In utter horror, I watched my roommate quietly pad down the remaining steps into the driveway. The dopey dog had escaped into the neighbor's yard, but my roommate whistled. "C'mere, puppy!" Whistle, whistle. "C'mere, doggie!" Snap, snap, pat leg. "C'mere, boy!"
The dopey dog stopped it's retreat on a dime and quickly returned to our driveway. My roommate was squatting down in a catcher's stance to receive the stray dog. It came up clumsily to my roommate, panting, drooling, and whimpering. I threw up a little bit in my mouth as I watched the scene unfold. Not my roommate though! He gently patted the beast on the head and rubbed it's chest. The dog slobbered and panted in utter joy that someone was petting it. I sat in disgust as I watched and listened to my roommate talk in that idiotic falsetto voice that people use only to talk to dogs and babies, "Hey buddy! Where are you from?" ("Mars," I sneered under my breath). "Oh! You're a girl, aren't you boy?" ("Idiot!" I thought). "Are you lost, girl? Oh, you're a sweet baby!" ("She ain't lost. She just wants our garbage. I've heard that pigs are cleaner animals . . . ")! "I wish I knew where you lived, girl! Oh, what a sweet puppy!" ("Puppy, my foot! That's an overweight old dog. It's dark outside, and I can see that from here!")
I sat and watched as my roommate bonded with this dog in our driveway. I feared the worst. What if he had so much compassion for this dog that he brought it inside? What if he planned on keeping this thing. As luck would have it, though, as quickly as the stray dog appeared, it suddenly ran away. THANKFULLY, my roommate let it go. Worst case scenario, he follows it and tries to make it come back. However instead, he went back for the bag of garbage, and tossed it in the can.
I silently moved away from the door as he made his way back inside. He never knew I witnessed him trying to woo a stray dog. Thirty minutes later, he scared the life out of me and I lost my blog.
The things I put up with around here . . . !
Monday, March 24, 2008
Wish I'd thought of that!!
The tall kid has become my newest hero. Everybody went to lunch today at El Chico. All the kids and the girlfriend had the day off from school, so the roommate took the day off, too. Going out for lunch seemed like the thing to do, so off they went. I stayed at home because I don't do Mexican. Plus, the short curly haired girl had spilled milk on the kitchen floor and somebody needed to clean it up.
When the crew returned home, the kid with glasses, the tall kid, and the taller pretty girl all skinned out around the corner to Grandma Roommate's house to play in their yard. The short curly haired girl took a nap, and the baby hung out on the floor of the den and played with her feet. Roommate and girlfriend were in the den, too. They were talking about what had happened at lunch. What I heard made me jealous that I was not as clever as the tall kid. If I had a mere portion of his ingenuity, the short curly haired girl would be no match for me at all!
The standard fare was ordered at lunch: chicken strips for the taller pretty girl, mac n' cheese for the short curly haired girl, enchiladas for the kid with glasses, fajitas for the girlfriend, and a burrito for the roommate. The tall kid branched out, though as he is still getting used to ordering food off of the adult menu. He wound up ordering a combination platter that came with a beef hard shelled taco, beans, rice, and a tamale. The tamale came in the center of the plate with a white queso cheese sauce covering it. On top of the sauce, in the center of the tamale, came a sliced jalapeno pepper.
Everyone dug into their food immediately. As the roommate was getting some salsa, he realized that the taller pretty girl was silently sobbing. Big tears were rolling down her face and she was shaking. It was obvious that something was wrong. "Did you bite your tongue?" "Is your chicken strip too hot?" "What's wrong, honey?" Her mouth was full, though and she was unable to answer. The tall kid was looking over at her with a reserved grin. Quickly, however, he realized that the situation was heading south, so he interjected, "I asked her if she wanted my pickle, and she took it and ate it!"
As the girlfriend handed the taller pretty girl a napkin to spit the "pickle" into, the roommate scolded the tall kid for telling his sister that the jalapeno pepper was a pickle. Of course, the tall kid insisted that he actually thought it was a pickle. He apparently held his own in the argument before he was asked to honestly answer when the last time it was that he had seen a pickle served with Mexican food.
The taller pretty girl was eventually okay, and by the time they all came home, she had forgiven the tall kid for his prank. All was good, but as I sat there and listened to the recap of the lunch outing, I was kind of smiling to myself. Even though the taller pretty girl doesn't give me much grief anymore, I still remember the times that I have woken up from naps with bows in my hair. I remember the times I've been trapped in the bathroom while she forced me to wear make up. I remember when things weren't that great between us - and then I thought about that tall kid giving her a jalapeno passing it off as a pickle.
MAN! I wish I'd thought of that!
When the crew returned home, the kid with glasses, the tall kid, and the taller pretty girl all skinned out around the corner to Grandma Roommate's house to play in their yard. The short curly haired girl took a nap, and the baby hung out on the floor of the den and played with her feet. Roommate and girlfriend were in the den, too. They were talking about what had happened at lunch. What I heard made me jealous that I was not as clever as the tall kid. If I had a mere portion of his ingenuity, the short curly haired girl would be no match for me at all!
The standard fare was ordered at lunch: chicken strips for the taller pretty girl, mac n' cheese for the short curly haired girl, enchiladas for the kid with glasses, fajitas for the girlfriend, and a burrito for the roommate. The tall kid branched out, though as he is still getting used to ordering food off of the adult menu. He wound up ordering a combination platter that came with a beef hard shelled taco, beans, rice, and a tamale. The tamale came in the center of the plate with a white queso cheese sauce covering it. On top of the sauce, in the center of the tamale, came a sliced jalapeno pepper.
Everyone dug into their food immediately. As the roommate was getting some salsa, he realized that the taller pretty girl was silently sobbing. Big tears were rolling down her face and she was shaking. It was obvious that something was wrong. "Did you bite your tongue?" "Is your chicken strip too hot?" "What's wrong, honey?" Her mouth was full, though and she was unable to answer. The tall kid was looking over at her with a reserved grin. Quickly, however, he realized that the situation was heading south, so he interjected, "I asked her if she wanted my pickle, and she took it and ate it!"
As the girlfriend handed the taller pretty girl a napkin to spit the "pickle" into, the roommate scolded the tall kid for telling his sister that the jalapeno pepper was a pickle. Of course, the tall kid insisted that he actually thought it was a pickle. He apparently held his own in the argument before he was asked to honestly answer when the last time it was that he had seen a pickle served with Mexican food.
The taller pretty girl was eventually okay, and by the time they all came home, she had forgiven the tall kid for his prank. All was good, but as I sat there and listened to the recap of the lunch outing, I was kind of smiling to myself. Even though the taller pretty girl doesn't give me much grief anymore, I still remember the times that I have woken up from naps with bows in my hair. I remember the times I've been trapped in the bathroom while she forced me to wear make up. I remember when things weren't that great between us - and then I thought about that tall kid giving her a jalapeno passing it off as a pickle.
MAN! I wish I'd thought of that!
Sunday, March 23, 2008
It's not about the eggs? Hmmm?
11 But Mary stood weeping outside the tomb. As she wept, she bent over to
look into the tomb; 12 and she saw two angels in white, sitting where the body of
Jesus had been lying, one at the head and the other at the feet. 13 They said to her,
“Woman, why are you weeping?” She said to them, “They have taken away my Lord, and
I do not know where they have laid him.” 14 When she had said this, she turned around
and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not know that it was Jesus. 15 Jesus said to her,
“Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you looking for?” Supposing him to be the
gardener, she said to him, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have laid
him, and I will take him away.” 16 Jesus said to her, “Mary!” She turned and said to him
in Hebrew, “Rabbouni!” (which means Teacher). 17 Jesus said to her, “Do not
hold on to me, because I have not yet ascended to the Father. But go to my brothers and
say to them, ‘I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.’ ”
18Mary Magdalene went and announced to the disciples, “I have seen the Lord”; and she
told them that he had said these things to her.
My roommate told me that this was what Easter was all about. I don't know that I understand it, but I believe it. He is risen! Alleluia!
look into the tomb; 12 and she saw two angels in white, sitting where the body of
Jesus had been lying, one at the head and the other at the feet. 13 They said to her,
“Woman, why are you weeping?” She said to them, “They have taken away my Lord, and
I do not know where they have laid him.” 14 When she had said this, she turned around
and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not know that it was Jesus. 15 Jesus said to her,
“Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you looking for?” Supposing him to be the
gardener, she said to him, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have laid
him, and I will take him away.” 16 Jesus said to her, “Mary!” She turned and said to him
in Hebrew, “Rabbouni!” (which means Teacher). 17 Jesus said to her, “Do not
hold on to me, because I have not yet ascended to the Father. But go to my brothers and
say to them, ‘I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.’ ”
18Mary Magdalene went and announced to the disciples, “I have seen the Lord”; and she
told them that he had said these things to her.
My roommate told me that this was what Easter was all about. I don't know that I understand it, but I believe it. He is risen! Alleluia!
Friday, March 21, 2008
Spend the night company
The taller pretty girl had a spend the night guest last night. The tall boy kid has a guest tonight. I hate spend the night company, because they don't know the rules. I spent most of yesterday and today outside to avoid the major inconveniences of the happenings inside the house. For instance the taller pretty girl's company slept on my side of the bed last night. And today, the tall boy kid's guest hung out on my couch all afternoon and into the night. Whatever, though. At least the short curly haired girl has been preoccupied with the company.
Tomorrow is another day. Plus, I think we are Easter egg hunting tomorrow. Sweet!
Tomorrow is another day. Plus, I think we are Easter egg hunting tomorrow. Sweet!
Thursday, March 20, 2008
No thanks. I'll stay outside.
My roommate came home from work tonight around 8. His girlfriend and the kids came home around 7:31. In the 29 minutes before he came home and the others arrived, I thought that my life was over. You see, I had gone to sleep downstairs on the brown couch. It is a comfy couch and that room is usually unoccupied when just me and my roommate are alone in the house. He works longer hours when they are gone, too, meaning that I have incredible stretches of peace and quiet.
The roommate came home around 2 p.m. today to eat lunch, watch some of the first round of the NCAA Basketball Tournament, and to change into his coat and tie for some type of special event at work tonight. He was gone again by 4, but I realized that after he had gone back to the office, I had forgotten to ask him when the others were going to return home today. However, I didn't lose to much sleep over forgetting to ask (literally)!
Around 7:28, I heard a vehicle in the garage. I have memorized the sounds of the vehicles that frequent our garage, and the one I heard was NOT my roommate's. It was the girlfriend's. I knew that I needed to move fast. I needed to get upstairs and out of sight, but I had been sleeping so hard that it was difficult for me to find the motivation. I stretched and yawned, and that exercise gave me a huge head rush. I had to wait a moment to regain my equilibrium. Finally, I was able to hop off the couch. I headed to the stairs, and I was about to ascend when, BOOM!! The back door swung open as if it had been blown off its hinges by a violent wind. Startled, I quickly turned around and I was face to face with . . . the little curly headed girl!!!!
She screamed at a decibel level so high that the dumb dogs in the back yard started to bark and howl. I spun around and ran as fast as I could up the stairs. Once upstairs, I had to think quick: which room should I go to? Immediately, I decided that the kitchen was the best bet. I mean heck, the girl had been gone from home for almost a week, so logically I believed that she would go into her room first to see her toys or something. Boy was I wrong! Into the kitchen she burst, screaming my name with a banshee-like force that was terrifying and yet at the same time, joyous and giddy. I tried to head out of the back door of the kitchen into the taller pretty girl's room, but I wasn't fast enough.
As the air was explosively and violently expelled from my lungs from the full weight of the little curly haired girl crashing down on top of me, through a pain soaked haze, I saw the tall kid open the door to the balcony. I knew that if I could wriggle free, if for only a second or two, I could get outside. Fortunately for me, the little curly haired girl still had the cold she had before she went on vacation. So when she stopped assaulting me for a brief moment to wipe her nose on me, I made my move. In a flash, I was outside on the balcony overlooking the goofy dogs. The door closed very quietly behind me, which through hindsight, was the most ironic part of my day.
I could hear the little curly haired girl hollering inside behind the closed storm door. I turned and looked back through the glass just to make sure she wasn't following me. I was safe; she was trapped inside. I took a deep breath and headed down the back stairs of the balcony to take a walk and to gather myself. One moment I was asleep, and the next moment I am being viciously attacked by a raving, lunatic, two year old with a runny nose.
When my roommate came home, he asked me if I wanted to come inside with him.
I went for another walk. The vacation is over.
The roommate came home around 2 p.m. today to eat lunch, watch some of the first round of the NCAA Basketball Tournament, and to change into his coat and tie for some type of special event at work tonight. He was gone again by 4, but I realized that after he had gone back to the office, I had forgotten to ask him when the others were going to return home today. However, I didn't lose to much sleep over forgetting to ask (literally)!
Around 7:28, I heard a vehicle in the garage. I have memorized the sounds of the vehicles that frequent our garage, and the one I heard was NOT my roommate's. It was the girlfriend's. I knew that I needed to move fast. I needed to get upstairs and out of sight, but I had been sleeping so hard that it was difficult for me to find the motivation. I stretched and yawned, and that exercise gave me a huge head rush. I had to wait a moment to regain my equilibrium. Finally, I was able to hop off the couch. I headed to the stairs, and I was about to ascend when, BOOM!! The back door swung open as if it had been blown off its hinges by a violent wind. Startled, I quickly turned around and I was face to face with . . . the little curly headed girl!!!!
She screamed at a decibel level so high that the dumb dogs in the back yard started to bark and howl. I spun around and ran as fast as I could up the stairs. Once upstairs, I had to think quick: which room should I go to? Immediately, I decided that the kitchen was the best bet. I mean heck, the girl had been gone from home for almost a week, so logically I believed that she would go into her room first to see her toys or something. Boy was I wrong! Into the kitchen she burst, screaming my name with a banshee-like force that was terrifying and yet at the same time, joyous and giddy. I tried to head out of the back door of the kitchen into the taller pretty girl's room, but I wasn't fast enough.
As the air was explosively and violently expelled from my lungs from the full weight of the little curly haired girl crashing down on top of me, through a pain soaked haze, I saw the tall kid open the door to the balcony. I knew that if I could wriggle free, if for only a second or two, I could get outside. Fortunately for me, the little curly haired girl still had the cold she had before she went on vacation. So when she stopped assaulting me for a brief moment to wipe her nose on me, I made my move. In a flash, I was outside on the balcony overlooking the goofy dogs. The door closed very quietly behind me, which through hindsight, was the most ironic part of my day.
I could hear the little curly haired girl hollering inside behind the closed storm door. I turned and looked back through the glass just to make sure she wasn't following me. I was safe; she was trapped inside. I took a deep breath and headed down the back stairs of the balcony to take a walk and to gather myself. One moment I was asleep, and the next moment I am being viciously attacked by a raving, lunatic, two year old with a runny nose.
When my roommate came home, he asked me if I wanted to come inside with him.
I went for another walk. The vacation is over.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
I used to have a cat. For purposes of protecting the cat's identity, let's call this cat Lucky. Lucky was a pest. She was into everything. She scratched on the furniture, she threw cat litter everywhere, and she attacked our feet while we tried to sleep at night, she knocked cups of milk over on the kitchen table. Lucky was annoying. In fact, one night while she was outside, I swear a dog tried to eat her. My roommate and I were hanging out in the den and the window to the storm door was open. Around eleven o'clock or so, we heard a terrifying cat scream. My roommate ran outside to check on the racket. About five minutes later, he came back inside followed by Lucky. Lucky was a little disheveled, a little shaky, and covered in slobber. It was gross. Dumb cat.
Anyway, I decided to get rid of Lucky a year ago. I just couldn't handle her anymore. As annoying as she was, she was equally as tiresome. The girlfriend's mom needed a cat to catch mice at her house, so we gave lucky to her. Good riddance. I honestly have not really given her a second thought until just this week.
All the kids and the girlfriend have been at Grandma Girlfriend's house this week for Spring Break. Apparently, according to reports from the girlfriend and the tall kid, the little curly haired girl has been terrorizing Lucky this week. I can only imagine!! I understand that Lucky has scratched the little curly haired girl a few times during the course of her visit. As I have reflected on this, I have found myself incredibly satisfied. Giddy even.
I mean really - how perfect is this? Lucky is gone and so is the little curly haired girl. They both annoy me to no end, and now they are together terrorizing each other. It's beautiful! They were made for each other!
But I digress . . . my respite is quickly coming to a close as I overheard my roommate talking to his girlfriend today. She and the kids are coming home tomorrow. The roommate is incredibly happy. Me?
Not so much.
Anyway, I decided to get rid of Lucky a year ago. I just couldn't handle her anymore. As annoying as she was, she was equally as tiresome. The girlfriend's mom needed a cat to catch mice at her house, so we gave lucky to her. Good riddance. I honestly have not really given her a second thought until just this week.
All the kids and the girlfriend have been at Grandma Girlfriend's house this week for Spring Break. Apparently, according to reports from the girlfriend and the tall kid, the little curly haired girl has been terrorizing Lucky this week. I can only imagine!! I understand that Lucky has scratched the little curly haired girl a few times during the course of her visit. As I have reflected on this, I have found myself incredibly satisfied. Giddy even.
I mean really - how perfect is this? Lucky is gone and so is the little curly haired girl. They both annoy me to no end, and now they are together terrorizing each other. It's beautiful! They were made for each other!
But I digress . . . my respite is quickly coming to a close as I overheard my roommate talking to his girlfriend today. She and the kids are coming home tomorrow. The roommate is incredibly happy. Me?
Not so much.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Close call
Elmer Fudd always tells people to be very, very, quiet, because he is hunting for wabbits. Tonight I identified with old Elmer. My roommate had gone to eat supper with his parents tonight as his girlfriend and the kids are out of town. He has been spending a lot more time at work over the past few days with everybody gone. I guess he has been trying to catch up with stuff that he has been putting off recently. With nobody at home, he has no obligations. I could care less if he comes home at all, to be truthful. Just as long as I have food, I'm good.
Anyway, tonight while my roommate was gone, I decided to check out the storage room downstairs. This is the room where the stupid dogs sleep at night. That room is full of boxes that have not been unpacked since we moved into this house. At any rate, I've been missing some of my stuff recently, and I decided that perhaps the stuff I've been missing is packed away in some of these boxes. I decided to take a look tonight while the roommate was out and the moronic dogs were outside.
I started going through the boxes. I was unsuccessful in finding what I was specifically looking for, but I was running across stuff that I had forgotten that we even had to begin with. It was sort of like skipping down memory lane, actually. I suppose that I was so engrossed with the boxes that I didn't realize that my roommate had come home and had let the dogs into the room where I was. They came bounding in huffing and puffing, panting and grunting. They both went to their food bowls and began to inhale their dog chow. It was as if they believed that if they didn't eat their food in less than 30 seconds, it would disappear or ruin like the excess manna non-trusting Israelites gathered against Yawheh's instruction. (DANG! I've got to quit hanging out with my roommate so much! Either that or he needs to hurry up and get out of Exdous in his Thursday noontime Bible study)!
ANYWAY - long story short - I was trapped in the room being "very, very, quiet" with these animals against my will! Fortunately, they were so enthralled with eating at the speed of light that they didn't realize that I was in there with them. On the other hand, I was terrified to call out for my roommate, because I did not want to draw attention to myself. What if they heard me and tried to eat me, too? Well, thank goodness for my roommate's ADD! When he fed the dogs, he forgot to give them water. Right when I was about to really freak out, my roommate opened the door again, and he was holding a pitcher of water. That was my moment! I quickly dropped the box top I was holding and ran out of the room unscathed by the slobbering beasts.
The girlfriend needs to come home. My roommate is an idiot anyway, but without her around, my life is in danger. The dude can't focus without her.
Anyway, tonight while my roommate was gone, I decided to check out the storage room downstairs. This is the room where the stupid dogs sleep at night. That room is full of boxes that have not been unpacked since we moved into this house. At any rate, I've been missing some of my stuff recently, and I decided that perhaps the stuff I've been missing is packed away in some of these boxes. I decided to take a look tonight while the roommate was out and the moronic dogs were outside.
I started going through the boxes. I was unsuccessful in finding what I was specifically looking for, but I was running across stuff that I had forgotten that we even had to begin with. It was sort of like skipping down memory lane, actually. I suppose that I was so engrossed with the boxes that I didn't realize that my roommate had come home and had let the dogs into the room where I was. They came bounding in huffing and puffing, panting and grunting. They both went to their food bowls and began to inhale their dog chow. It was as if they believed that if they didn't eat their food in less than 30 seconds, it would disappear or ruin like the excess manna non-trusting Israelites gathered against Yawheh's instruction. (DANG! I've got to quit hanging out with my roommate so much! Either that or he needs to hurry up and get out of Exdous in his Thursday noontime Bible study)!
ANYWAY - long story short - I was trapped in the room being "very, very, quiet" with these animals against my will! Fortunately, they were so enthralled with eating at the speed of light that they didn't realize that I was in there with them. On the other hand, I was terrified to call out for my roommate, because I did not want to draw attention to myself. What if they heard me and tried to eat me, too? Well, thank goodness for my roommate's ADD! When he fed the dogs, he forgot to give them water. Right when I was about to really freak out, my roommate opened the door again, and he was holding a pitcher of water. That was my moment! I quickly dropped the box top I was holding and ran out of the room unscathed by the slobbering beasts.
The girlfriend needs to come home. My roommate is an idiot anyway, but without her around, my life is in danger. The dude can't focus without her.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Well, well, well! I heard from both of my grandmothers just the other day. Both of them admonished me for lashing out at the little curly headed girl that lives with me. Grandma Girlfriend sent me a picture of the curly headed girl and asked me how could I have such a bad attitude regarding the little brat. Apparently, her angelic appearance leads non-suspecting onlookers to believe that she is sweet and innocent. I'll bet that Mimi has never been trampled over while trying to take a nap. Nor has she ever had a hard plastic baby doll bounced off her head for no apparent reason.
As for Grandma Roommate, I truly am sorry that you miss the little curly haired girl. I appreciate your remorse, but have you ever been doused with a cup of cold tap water while you were taking a nap? While you were minding your own business, have you ever been ambushed by a two year old hell bent on pulling out all of your body hair? I think not.
She is gone, I'm okay with that, and now I bid you all adieu. Time for a toddler-free nap. No offense, grandmas? Love you both!
Grandmas 0 Me 1.
I am the winner.
As for Grandma Roommate, I truly am sorry that you miss the little curly haired girl. I appreciate your remorse, but have you ever been doused with a cup of cold tap water while you were taking a nap? While you were minding your own business, have you ever been ambushed by a two year old hell bent on pulling out all of your body hair? I think not.
She is gone, I'm okay with that, and now I bid you all adieu. Time for a toddler-free nap. No offense, grandmas? Love you both!
Grandmas 0 Me 1.
I am the winner.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Funeral for a Friend
This morning was beautiful! The air was crisp, the sun was shining, the birds were chirping. I could not wait for my roommate to open the house so that I could go out and begin my morning routine. I usually go for a brief walk around the yard to check things out, and then I make my way up the back steps of the house and take my usual perch on the balcony overlooking the stupid dogs.
I like watching the day get started. There is a freshness about it that really makes me appreciate being alive and being a part of creation. That might sound corny to some of you, but don't knock it 'till you try it! One of the things I like the most about my morning routines is watching the outdoor creatures milling about and getting their day started too. The squirrels are hilarious. They run up and down the trees, jumping from limb to limb. There is one squirrel in particular who loves to hang out on the other balcony outside of the boy's room. This morning he was lying on the railing surveying his surroundings just as nonchalantly as I was hanging out on the main balcony. I even thought about striking up a conversation with him, but it probably would have made the dumb dogs start barking. Barking dogs and skittish squirrels don't make the best combination, and I didn't want to ruin the little guy's morning.
As I was watching the neighbors walking out in their Sunday's best to go to church, I suddenly realized that something was missing from my normal morning routine. I had not yet seen the beautiful cardinal that usually flits down to sit on the back fence of the yard. He is there every morning, but today he wasn't there. I found this to be incredibly odd, because he is rarely late, and he is never a no show. I thought that maybe his wife had laid some eggs or something and he was helping out around the nest which would have tied him up, but when he was over 45 minutes late; I became concerned.
I got up and started pacing the length of the balcony. I looked up in the trees, I looked over onto the other balcony; I even craned my neck around the side of the balcony to see if the cardinal was in one of the big bushes against the side of the house. He was not anywhere to be found. I was growing more concerned by the minute. I was just about to head down the stairs to conduct a more thorough search when something caught my eye in the back yard. What I saw next was horrifying, and I don't know if I'll ever get over it.
I saw the big, stupid, black, Labrador skipping and running around in circles. Ordinarily, I blow off such behavior displayed by him, because he is, in the simplest of terms, a moron. In fact, I have often thought that he actually might be retarded. However, this morning, there was something different about his idiot dance. I stopped to see what was up with him before I headed down the stairs. As I observed him closely, I realized that he had something in his mouth. At first, I was not that concerned about it. He normally puts stuff in his mouth: sticks, rocks, tennis balls, his own poop. But this morning as I was watching the big, dumb, black, dog, I saw a flash of red between his teeth! And as I peered even closer down into the yard, I saw feathers floating around his head -red feathers! My buddy the cardinal was in that dog's mouth! I was mortified! I banged on the door trying to get my roommate's attention! The dog had to be stopped! I wanted my roommate to shoot the dog with that tall kid's BB gun. Something had to be done! My roommate, however had already left for work. I was helpless and my friend the cardinal was being devoured.
Have you ever been in a situation where you witnessed something so horrible that you actually just froze unable to react or respond? That is exactly what happened to me this morning. The horror! The other dumb dog out there didn't even perk her ears up while this murder was taking place. I don't even think that she lifted her head out of the hole in the yard where she was sleeping. Again - the horror!!
I hope that dopey dog gets salmonella.
I like watching the day get started. There is a freshness about it that really makes me appreciate being alive and being a part of creation. That might sound corny to some of you, but don't knock it 'till you try it! One of the things I like the most about my morning routines is watching the outdoor creatures milling about and getting their day started too. The squirrels are hilarious. They run up and down the trees, jumping from limb to limb. There is one squirrel in particular who loves to hang out on the other balcony outside of the boy's room. This morning he was lying on the railing surveying his surroundings just as nonchalantly as I was hanging out on the main balcony. I even thought about striking up a conversation with him, but it probably would have made the dumb dogs start barking. Barking dogs and skittish squirrels don't make the best combination, and I didn't want to ruin the little guy's morning.
As I was watching the neighbors walking out in their Sunday's best to go to church, I suddenly realized that something was missing from my normal morning routine. I had not yet seen the beautiful cardinal that usually flits down to sit on the back fence of the yard. He is there every morning, but today he wasn't there. I found this to be incredibly odd, because he is rarely late, and he is never a no show. I thought that maybe his wife had laid some eggs or something and he was helping out around the nest which would have tied him up, but when he was over 45 minutes late; I became concerned.
I got up and started pacing the length of the balcony. I looked up in the trees, I looked over onto the other balcony; I even craned my neck around the side of the balcony to see if the cardinal was in one of the big bushes against the side of the house. He was not anywhere to be found. I was growing more concerned by the minute. I was just about to head down the stairs to conduct a more thorough search when something caught my eye in the back yard. What I saw next was horrifying, and I don't know if I'll ever get over it.
I saw the big, stupid, black, Labrador skipping and running around in circles. Ordinarily, I blow off such behavior displayed by him, because he is, in the simplest of terms, a moron. In fact, I have often thought that he actually might be retarded. However, this morning, there was something different about his idiot dance. I stopped to see what was up with him before I headed down the stairs. As I observed him closely, I realized that he had something in his mouth. At first, I was not that concerned about it. He normally puts stuff in his mouth: sticks, rocks, tennis balls, his own poop. But this morning as I was watching the big, dumb, black, dog, I saw a flash of red between his teeth! And as I peered even closer down into the yard, I saw feathers floating around his head -red feathers! My buddy the cardinal was in that dog's mouth! I was mortified! I banged on the door trying to get my roommate's attention! The dog had to be stopped! I wanted my roommate to shoot the dog with that tall kid's BB gun. Something had to be done! My roommate, however had already left for work. I was helpless and my friend the cardinal was being devoured.
Have you ever been in a situation where you witnessed something so horrible that you actually just froze unable to react or respond? That is exactly what happened to me this morning. The horror! The other dumb dog out there didn't even perk her ears up while this murder was taking place. I don't even think that she lifted her head out of the hole in the yard where she was sleeping. Again - the horror!!
I hope that dopey dog gets salmonella.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
. . . and the curly haired girl is GONE!!
Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
For the Lord God omnipotent reigneth.
Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
For the Lord God omnipotent reigneth.
Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
The kingdom of this world Is become the kingdom of our Lord, And of His Christ, and of His Christ; And He shall reign for ever and ever, For ever and ever, forever and ever,
King of kings, and Lord of lords, King of kings, and Lord of lords, And Lord of lords,
And He shall reign, And He shall reign forever and ever,
King of kings, forever and ever, And Lord of lords, Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
And He shall reign forever and ever, King of kings! and Lord of lords!
And He shall reign forever and ever, King of kings! and Lord of lords!
Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
My thanks (and apologies) to Handel.
Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
For the Lord God omnipotent reigneth.
Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
For the Lord God omnipotent reigneth.
Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
The kingdom of this world Is become the kingdom of our Lord, And of His Christ, and of His Christ; And He shall reign for ever and ever, For ever and ever, forever and ever,
King of kings, and Lord of lords, King of kings, and Lord of lords, And Lord of lords,
And He shall reign, And He shall reign forever and ever,
King of kings, forever and ever, And Lord of lords, Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
And He shall reign forever and ever, King of kings! and Lord of lords!
And He shall reign forever and ever, King of kings! and Lord of lords!
Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
My thanks (and apologies) to Handel.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Let the vacation begin!
Thank goodness! It's official! The girlfriend and all the kids are going out of town tomorrow! Hooray!!! The signs were overwhelmingly obvious before the final confirmation of the trip was revealed to me. It all started this morning with my roommate being unreasonably grumpy. He always gets that way before his gal leaves home with all the kids. Then, around mid-afternoon, I overheard the roommate on the phone telling the girlfriend what to do at the oil change place. And then the kids got home and started packing unreasonable and totally useless thing to take on their trip. Like Mimi and Pop will need half torn piece of papers with poorly scrawled crayon drawings of Saul on the road to Damascus!!! They are outta here! Woo-hoo!! Me and the roommate will be living large the next few days!
I love it when it is just him and me in the house alone. He makes the living conditions most conducive to my preferred lifestyle. He keeps me fed, and gets paranoid when I don't come in at night. That means that he insists that I am in before he locks up the house at night. No more beating on the door for hours waiting for someone to turn a doorknob for me! At night, he sits in his chair in the den watching t.v. He doesn't turn on a bunch of lamps; the light from the television is enough for him. If he needs to read something, he only turns on the lamp beside his chair. At any one point during the night when it is just my roommate and me in the house, there is always only one light on. Awesome! Also, my roommate talks to me like I'm a real person when everyone else is gone - not that he's a jerk otherwise - its just that when we are alone in the house, he isn't distracted with other stuff. Like that curly haired girl, for example.
Seriously - something has to be done about her. She is out of control bonkers. I blogged about being whacked with a juice cup last night, if you all remember. Well, today was my roommate's day off. And for whatever reason, he always keeps that curly haired kid at home with him. I've begged him, I've pleaded with him, I've explained to him over and over that daycare is open five days a week. But he doesn't listen to me. When he is at home, so is she. So, in an intentional self-preservation maneuver, I stayed out of sight for the majority of the day. Around four o'clock or so this afternoon, my roommate loaded the kid into his vehicle to go to the grocery store. I went outside to jog when they left.
I was having a great time, too. The weather was lovely. Robins were out pecking around looking for whatever birds look for when they peck, the dogs were happy in the backyard sunning themselves on their backs, people were out walking around - it was almost a perfect afternoon. And then the roommate came home. He pulled into the driveway around five. I walked up to greet him, and all of a sudden, the little curly haired girl explodes out of the van. She starts running around in circles and babbling incoherent sentences. I slinked out of her way - trying to become invisible, but it was no use. BAM!!! The pine cone ricocheted of my head like a ping pong ball. Although the pine cone didn't hurt nearly as bad as the apple juice cup, it was still really unpleasant. I must have done something funny when I was struck, too, because when I reacted to the impact, the little curly haired girl burst into laughter. I was in shock from the pine cone, and her laughter only exacerbated my confusion . Luckily, I was able to regain my senses in time to run out of the way of the skateboard she rolled at me. Sigh.
Alert the mayor of Ferriday, LA . . . !
I love it when it is just him and me in the house alone. He makes the living conditions most conducive to my preferred lifestyle. He keeps me fed, and gets paranoid when I don't come in at night. That means that he insists that I am in before he locks up the house at night. No more beating on the door for hours waiting for someone to turn a doorknob for me! At night, he sits in his chair in the den watching t.v. He doesn't turn on a bunch of lamps; the light from the television is enough for him. If he needs to read something, he only turns on the lamp beside his chair. At any one point during the night when it is just my roommate and me in the house, there is always only one light on. Awesome! Also, my roommate talks to me like I'm a real person when everyone else is gone - not that he's a jerk otherwise - its just that when we are alone in the house, he isn't distracted with other stuff. Like that curly haired girl, for example.
Seriously - something has to be done about her. She is out of control bonkers. I blogged about being whacked with a juice cup last night, if you all remember. Well, today was my roommate's day off. And for whatever reason, he always keeps that curly haired kid at home with him. I've begged him, I've pleaded with him, I've explained to him over and over that daycare is open five days a week. But he doesn't listen to me. When he is at home, so is she. So, in an intentional self-preservation maneuver, I stayed out of sight for the majority of the day. Around four o'clock or so this afternoon, my roommate loaded the kid into his vehicle to go to the grocery store. I went outside to jog when they left.
I was having a great time, too. The weather was lovely. Robins were out pecking around looking for whatever birds look for when they peck, the dogs were happy in the backyard sunning themselves on their backs, people were out walking around - it was almost a perfect afternoon. And then the roommate came home. He pulled into the driveway around five. I walked up to greet him, and all of a sudden, the little curly haired girl explodes out of the van. She starts running around in circles and babbling incoherent sentences. I slinked out of her way - trying to become invisible, but it was no use. BAM!!! The pine cone ricocheted of my head like a ping pong ball. Although the pine cone didn't hurt nearly as bad as the apple juice cup, it was still really unpleasant. I must have done something funny when I was struck, too, because when I reacted to the impact, the little curly haired girl burst into laughter. I was in shock from the pine cone, and her laughter only exacerbated my confusion . Luckily, I was able to regain my senses in time to run out of the way of the skateboard she rolled at me. Sigh.
Alert the mayor of Ferriday, LA . . . !
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Apple juice and tweety birds
I heard my roommate's girlfriend pestering him about getting her minivan serviced tomorrow. That can only mean one thing: she is going on vacation, and when she goes on vacation, that means that the KIDS go on vacation, too! Oh what joy, I'm beginning to feel! The quiet will be a welcomed long lost friend. No more refereeing fights between the long haired pretty girl and the short kid with glasses. No more running in fear of my life from the little curly haired demon. I might miss the tall kid, though. He actually has some redeeming qualities. I might miss the baby, too. So far, she's been harmless.
I actually kind of like the new little one. She doesn't do much but sit around and gurgle. I like to watch her. She has recently been working on making intentional faces. She recognizes people now, and she smiles at them. It is really neat to watch, but I try not to get too attached, because I fear that sooner or later she will do the same thing that all the others have done - learn to walk and live to terrorize me and the rest of the household.
My roommate says that this baby is the last one - he promises. On one hand, this fact is reassuring to me. On the other hand, this fact also makes me extremely paranoid. What if she turns out to be the wildest one of the bunch? Ooooh - I can't think about that right now. It gives me a headache. Besides, I can't wrap my mind around the possibility that anyone could be worse than the curly haired girl.
For instance, this morning I was minding my own business watching a completely non-riveting interview of a woman who had found the secret to deep pore excavation through cleansers made with cucumbers and vanilla bean extract conducted by the equally as non-riveting Ann Cury on the Today show. I had just had a little breakfast, and I was quietly collecting my thoughts for the beginning of the day, when out of the blue, WHAM!!! I was beaned in the head with a hard plastic sippy cup full of apple juice. The pain was exquisite. I actually saw birds circling my head. My roommate, the prince of a guy he is, didn't even check to see if I was okay. He just picked up the cup and gave it back to the devil. To his credit, he did mention to the girl that it wasn't nice to throw her drinks. Jeesh.
Naw. There's noway this new kid can come close to being as scary as the curly haired little kid. There just can't be.
I actually kind of like the new little one. She doesn't do much but sit around and gurgle. I like to watch her. She has recently been working on making intentional faces. She recognizes people now, and she smiles at them. It is really neat to watch, but I try not to get too attached, because I fear that sooner or later she will do the same thing that all the others have done - learn to walk and live to terrorize me and the rest of the household.
My roommate says that this baby is the last one - he promises. On one hand, this fact is reassuring to me. On the other hand, this fact also makes me extremely paranoid. What if she turns out to be the wildest one of the bunch? Ooooh - I can't think about that right now. It gives me a headache. Besides, I can't wrap my mind around the possibility that anyone could be worse than the curly haired girl.
For instance, this morning I was minding my own business watching a completely non-riveting interview of a woman who had found the secret to deep pore excavation through cleansers made with cucumbers and vanilla bean extract conducted by the equally as non-riveting Ann Cury on the Today show. I had just had a little breakfast, and I was quietly collecting my thoughts for the beginning of the day, when out of the blue, WHAM!!! I was beaned in the head with a hard plastic sippy cup full of apple juice. The pain was exquisite. I actually saw birds circling my head. My roommate, the prince of a guy he is, didn't even check to see if I was okay. He just picked up the cup and gave it back to the devil. To his credit, he did mention to the girl that it wasn't nice to throw her drinks. Jeesh.
Naw. There's noway this new kid can come close to being as scary as the curly haired little kid. There just can't be.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Egg hunting
Nothing much happened today. In fact, I've been sitting here looking at a blank screen for quite some time trying to think of something to write. After yesterday's harrowing experience with that short, curly headed, girl, I pretty much stayed out of sight today. She has been sick the past two days and she has a mad case of cabin fever. Trust me - I steered clear of her today!
I did go for a nice walk today. The weather was absolutely gorgeous. Not even a week ago there was three to four inches of snow on the ground, and today it was close to 75 degrees and sunny. I like weather like that. It is almost spring, and I can't wait. Easter is coming, too. In fact, I think it is just a week from Sunday. All the kids in the house will be getting Easter baskets and they will hide Easter eggs. I love Easter egg hunting. What I like to do is hang out inconspicuously where the egg hider is at work. Then, before the hunters come to look for the eggs, I move them around.
I have a few Easter memories that involve the dog I used to have. My roommate always wanted to buy a little baby bunny rabbit for the dog, but his girlfriend would never let him. She said that it was a ridiculous idea, not to mention cruel. Actually, if the truth were told, I've always kind of wanted my own baby chick at Easter. I wouldn't do anything mean to it. I'd just hang out with it for a while. Maybe I'd even let it help me move Easter eggs around. It could be fun.
I did go for a nice walk today. The weather was absolutely gorgeous. Not even a week ago there was three to four inches of snow on the ground, and today it was close to 75 degrees and sunny. I like weather like that. It is almost spring, and I can't wait. Easter is coming, too. In fact, I think it is just a week from Sunday. All the kids in the house will be getting Easter baskets and they will hide Easter eggs. I love Easter egg hunting. What I like to do is hang out inconspicuously where the egg hider is at work. Then, before the hunters come to look for the eggs, I move them around.
I have a few Easter memories that involve the dog I used to have. My roommate always wanted to buy a little baby bunny rabbit for the dog, but his girlfriend would never let him. She said that it was a ridiculous idea, not to mention cruel. Actually, if the truth were told, I've always kind of wanted my own baby chick at Easter. I wouldn't do anything mean to it. I'd just hang out with it for a while. Maybe I'd even let it help me move Easter eggs around. It could be fun.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Attack of the 2 year old!
So, the short curly haired girl was sick today. She was coughing and hacking all over the house. I tried to keep my distance. Seriously, I don't want to get what she has. I have enough problems as it is: the aforementioned remote control issue, getting enough sleep, etc., etc. Getting sick is the LAST thing that I need at this point.
My roommate put the girl down for a nap today even though she didn't want to go to sleep. She screamed and cried. She cried and screamed. I thought she'd never settle down! Since she wasn't my problem to begin with, I just went downstairs to escape the noise. I heard her getting out of bed a couple of times, and I heard my roommate trying to convince her to stay in bed. What a hassle! I wouldn't put up with that nonsense for five minutes! However, far be it for me to be a backseat parent!
At any rate, I finally managed to block out the noise. Later on this afternoon, I was in the kitchen to scrounge up a snack or two. My roommate's girlfriend had come home from work and she was in the kitchen with me asking my roommate about how the curly haired girl had been today while she was at work. My roommate was trying recount the events of the day, when the curly headed girl came into the kitchen with us. The next thing that happened came in a flash. It happened so fast, I didn't even have time to react. My roommate told his girlfriend that the curly haired girl had given him trouble at nap time. As he told the story, I rolled my eyes in disgust.
Well, apparently the little curly haired girl saw me roll my eyes and, she must have been offended, because the next thing I knew, she had jumped on top of me and started beating me with her fists!! I couldn't believe what was happening! My roommate told her to get off of me, but she persisted! I was pinned and couldn't move. My arms were trapped so I couldn't push her off, and since she was crushing my lungs, I couldn't scream. My mind was racing and the only thing I could think to do was to bite her. However, before I could sink my teeth into her toddler flesh, the girlfriend pushed her off of me. I quickly limped away. The little beast!!
Girlfriend 1 - Roommate 0. That little kid could set my roommates pants on fire and he wouldn't even raise his voice, but just let me try to take a nap in his chair, and I am the anti-Christ!
I need a vacation.
My roommate put the girl down for a nap today even though she didn't want to go to sleep. She screamed and cried. She cried and screamed. I thought she'd never settle down! Since she wasn't my problem to begin with, I just went downstairs to escape the noise. I heard her getting out of bed a couple of times, and I heard my roommate trying to convince her to stay in bed. What a hassle! I wouldn't put up with that nonsense for five minutes! However, far be it for me to be a backseat parent!
At any rate, I finally managed to block out the noise. Later on this afternoon, I was in the kitchen to scrounge up a snack or two. My roommate's girlfriend had come home from work and she was in the kitchen with me asking my roommate about how the curly haired girl had been today while she was at work. My roommate was trying recount the events of the day, when the curly headed girl came into the kitchen with us. The next thing that happened came in a flash. It happened so fast, I didn't even have time to react. My roommate told his girlfriend that the curly haired girl had given him trouble at nap time. As he told the story, I rolled my eyes in disgust.
Well, apparently the little curly haired girl saw me roll my eyes and, she must have been offended, because the next thing I knew, she had jumped on top of me and started beating me with her fists!! I couldn't believe what was happening! My roommate told her to get off of me, but she persisted! I was pinned and couldn't move. My arms were trapped so I couldn't push her off, and since she was crushing my lungs, I couldn't scream. My mind was racing and the only thing I could think to do was to bite her. However, before I could sink my teeth into her toddler flesh, the girlfriend pushed her off of me. I quickly limped away. The little beast!!
Girlfriend 1 - Roommate 0. That little kid could set my roommates pants on fire and he wouldn't even raise his voice, but just let me try to take a nap in his chair, and I am the anti-Christ!
I need a vacation.
Monday, March 10, 2008
A ladder would be nice
I was at home alone all day today. This is not a complaint, it is merely a statement of fact. I rather enjoy having the whole house to myself, actually. It is quiet, nobody bothers me, I can sleep as long as I want, I can eat whenever I want without being disturbed, and I can watch whatever I want to watch on television . . . . usually! Today, however I was unable to watch any t.v. I couldn't find any of the remote controls. At first, I was okay with it. I figured, no problem; I'll just take a nap, but one can only nap for so long before one needs a diversion. I came out to the den to watch the tube, but the remote was nowhere to be found. I went into the oldest girls room to watch her t.v., but the remote was missing. I checked each room with a television and every room revealed the same thing - NO REMOTE! I was furious! My roommate always complains about missing remotes, and I actually thought he had gotten a handle on the situation. No one is allowed to move his remote control! He ALWAYS leaves the remote beside his chair, and everyone in the house knows that they are not supposed to move it from it's designated spot. But what am I supposed to do when my roommate doesn't comply with his own rules? That idiot didn't leave the remote where it was supposed to be. Jeesh!
I think there is a button somewhere on top of the television set that will turn the unit on. I've seen my roommate's girlfriend turn the t.v. on like that before. But before you ask me why I didn't try that option, remember that it is rude to question short folks. Vertically challenged comments tend to be annoying. Man! What a terrible day!
As my frustration mounted concerning the remote control issue, I realized that at least my roommate had brought the newspaper inside before he and the short curly haired girl left this morning. However, that proved to be frustrating, too.
Rubber bands appear to be pretty self-explanatory, but trust me! They aren't.
I think there is a button somewhere on top of the television set that will turn the unit on. I've seen my roommate's girlfriend turn the t.v. on like that before. But before you ask me why I didn't try that option, remember that it is rude to question short folks. Vertically challenged comments tend to be annoying. Man! What a terrible day!
As my frustration mounted concerning the remote control issue, I realized that at least my roommate had brought the newspaper inside before he and the short curly haired girl left this morning. However, that proved to be frustrating, too.
Rubber bands appear to be pretty self-explanatory, but trust me! They aren't.
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Another Scotch, please, bartender!
Now I've seen it all. My roommate, the tall kid, and I were hanging out tonight watching the local 10 o'clock news. Not much happened in town tonight, apparently. There was an interesting story that ran tonight, however that got my attention. Last night there was a black tie affair at the civic center to benefit the Humane Society. Cameras were present to record all of the festivities. As the reporter told the story, it became obvious that the event was intended to raise money for spaying and neutering animals - cats and dogs specifically. I suppose that this is a good cause. The thing that disturbed me, though was how this event played out. Find rich people. Invite them to a snazzy party. Feed them fancy appetizers. Get them good and liquored up. Take their money. Spend the money to administer invasive medical procedures on your pets.
If it were up to me and, I had control over a hammered rich guy's wallet at a Humane Society function, I'd use the money to figure out a way to remove the vocal cords of dogs. Or maybe the money could be used to research a way to prevent dogs from wagging their tails all of the time. Don't they know how stupid that looks? Better yet, that money could be spent to research ways to keep dogs from digging holes.
These are just some of my thoughts on the matter, though . . . I don't even have a tuxedo.
If it were up to me and, I had control over a hammered rich guy's wallet at a Humane Society function, I'd use the money to figure out a way to remove the vocal cords of dogs. Or maybe the money could be used to research a way to prevent dogs from wagging their tails all of the time. Don't they know how stupid that looks? Better yet, that money could be spent to research ways to keep dogs from digging holes.
These are just some of my thoughts on the matter, though . . . I don't even have a tuxedo.
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Sweet revenge
Approximately five or six years ago, I broke my hip. It was a serious injury that set me back considerably. Whenever it rains, my hip hurts. When the weather is changing from hot to cold or vice versa, the pain in my hip is excruciating. I can't run as fast anymore, and if I'm on my feet too long, my hip gets stiff and I have to sit down.
The way it happened, I was asleep on the top bunk of a set of bunk beds in the boy's room. I was sleeping really hard - dreaming even - when the back door of the house slammed shut. I was sleeping so hard that the jolt I received from the door slamming forced me awake and sent me tumbling off the top bunk. WHACK!!! Broken hip.
Of course when I landed on the floor, I did not realize that I had broken my hip. I felt pain, and a small twinge when I would try to walk, but I had no idea that I had a break. My roommate eventually figured out what was wrong with me and he took me to the emergency room. The rest is history.
Ever since then, however, I have been hell bent on revenge. My revenge has been sporadic admittedly, though, because I'm not 100% on who was responsible for my injury. For instance, today, while the kids were out playing in the snow, I followed them out. The tall kid and his sister were making snow angels. I immediately noticed that the shorter kid with glasses was trying to figure out how to participate, too. He is the younger of the outside playing crew, and he is always trying to figure out how to keep up with the older ones. As he was attempting to make his own snow angel, I made my move. The girl was in the snow on the ground, and the short kid with glasses made his way into the yard to make an angel himself. Due to the cold weather, my hip was burning with pain, but I managed to silently put myself between him and the girl. As anticipated, he didn't see me, and on his way to join in on the fun, he tripped over me and fell into a bank of snow. When he hit the ground, the tall kid and his sister burst into laughter, and the short kid with glasses started to cry. He gathered himself and ran inside to my roommate.
Of course, all of you probably think that I'm mean, but I can confidentially say to you that at least the little guy didn't break his hip!!
The way it happened, I was asleep on the top bunk of a set of bunk beds in the boy's room. I was sleeping really hard - dreaming even - when the back door of the house slammed shut. I was sleeping so hard that the jolt I received from the door slamming forced me awake and sent me tumbling off the top bunk. WHACK!!! Broken hip.
Of course when I landed on the floor, I did not realize that I had broken my hip. I felt pain, and a small twinge when I would try to walk, but I had no idea that I had a break. My roommate eventually figured out what was wrong with me and he took me to the emergency room. The rest is history.
Ever since then, however, I have been hell bent on revenge. My revenge has been sporadic admittedly, though, because I'm not 100% on who was responsible for my injury. For instance, today, while the kids were out playing in the snow, I followed them out. The tall kid and his sister were making snow angels. I immediately noticed that the shorter kid with glasses was trying to figure out how to participate, too. He is the younger of the outside playing crew, and he is always trying to figure out how to keep up with the older ones. As he was attempting to make his own snow angel, I made my move. The girl was in the snow on the ground, and the short kid with glasses made his way into the yard to make an angel himself. Due to the cold weather, my hip was burning with pain, but I managed to silently put myself between him and the girl. As anticipated, he didn't see me, and on his way to join in on the fun, he tripped over me and fell into a bank of snow. When he hit the ground, the tall kid and his sister burst into laughter, and the short kid with glasses started to cry. He gathered himself and ran inside to my roommate.
Of course, all of you probably think that I'm mean, but I can confidentially say to you that at least the little guy didn't break his hip!!
Friday, March 7, 2008
Galoshes needed
I don't like to wear shoes. In fact, I rarely ever do. But tonight, I could have used some. I went outside to check some stuff out and halfway down the stairs, I wished that I had put something on my feet! It snowed today for a long time. I grew up in the south where the most disturbing weather patterns were thunderstorms, tornadoes, and hurricanes - not snow. Now, having been moved further north, apparently it snows here every now and then.
I did NOT stay outside very long.
I did NOT stay outside very long.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
The problem with Harvey
What if my name was Harvey? Harvey is a cool name, I think. The name Harvey implies that you are whimsical, yet contemplative. It implies that you know how to have a good time, but that you know when to be serious, too. Harvey is the type of name that tells people that you are personable with a sense of humor, but that you can be trusted. Harvey can listen to you for hours without being burdened. Harvey knows how to do card tricks and he can pull quarters out from behind peoples ears. He also likes to work crossword puzzles. My nickname would be Harv. That's what people would call out whenever I walked into a room: "Hey, Harv!"
Problem is, I might forget that Harvey is my name since it really isn't my name, and when people called out, "Hey, Harv," I might not pay attention.
Harvey. Cool name. (I like Larry, too, though . . . )
Problem is, I might forget that Harvey is my name since it really isn't my name, and when people called out, "Hey, Harv," I might not pay attention.
Harvey. Cool name. (I like Larry, too, though . . . )
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Is nothing sacred? In a house this big with as many people who live in it, there ought to be rules. Rules that are strict enough to ensure that people's possessions and privacy are respected. The kids tear things up all the time, my roommate's girlfriend unplugs my computer everyday, the dogs pee on the floor, and my roommate has apparently forgotten what house cleaning is all about.
I was hanging out around noon today enjoying the peace and quiet. I had planned to do a little reading, but it was so quiet in the house, I closed my eyes instead to nap a little. Sure enough, my roommate comes home for lunch and told me to get out of his chair. Earlier this week, I was hanging out watching Animal Planet. I got up to go use the restroom, and when I returned, the short kid with glasses had changed the channel on the TV that I had been watching to Sponge Bob.
I mean, it's like I live with a bunch of selfish slobs who don't think about anyone but themselves. Just the other day I got locked out of the house again. I had gone out to run errands in the neighborhood, and apparently nobody even noticed that I was gone, because when I came back the doors were locked and the cars were gone.
Sometimes it seems like my living conditions are unbearable. And to think of all the things that I do for this family! Well, not tomorrow, folks! Tomorrow people will be lucky if they see me at all! (Unless I need to eat . . . but I'm not talking to anyone)!
I was hanging out around noon today enjoying the peace and quiet. I had planned to do a little reading, but it was so quiet in the house, I closed my eyes instead to nap a little. Sure enough, my roommate comes home for lunch and told me to get out of his chair. Earlier this week, I was hanging out watching Animal Planet. I got up to go use the restroom, and when I returned, the short kid with glasses had changed the channel on the TV that I had been watching to Sponge Bob.
I mean, it's like I live with a bunch of selfish slobs who don't think about anyone but themselves. Just the other day I got locked out of the house again. I had gone out to run errands in the neighborhood, and apparently nobody even noticed that I was gone, because when I came back the doors were locked and the cars were gone.
Sometimes it seems like my living conditions are unbearable. And to think of all the things that I do for this family! Well, not tomorrow, folks! Tomorrow people will be lucky if they see me at all! (Unless I need to eat . . . but I'm not talking to anyone)!
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Too many meetings
My roommate is never home anymore. All he does is work. Meetings all day long, meetings that last into the night - meetings, meetings, meetings. This means that I'm left at home alone with all the kids and the girlfriend. The girlfriend gets pretty testy when left to deal with everything by herself at night. I usually just find the quietest room in the house and take a nap until my roommate comes home. That woman ought to take a page out of my book and chill out, but no. She insists on being a busy body and fretting. Life is too short to fret. I say she should just take a nap and be glad she doesn't have to sit in meetings all night long. The tall kid could take care of stuff until the roommate returned. What's wrong with that?
Monday, March 3, 2008
Hide the nuts! Here comes Hillary!
I don't understand politics at all. There is a presidential election coming up, and from what I can gather, there are three people who are in the running: Hillary Clinton, Barak Obama, and John McCain. Some people really keep up with the candidates and know what they all stand for. Some people are Democrats and some people are Republicans. Some vote along party lines; some vote according to the positions of the candidates. Not me, though. I'm shallow, and I readily admit it. I go by appearances only. McCain looks mean. He probably cuts people off in traffic and then laughs about it. Obama looks like a contemplative professor who likes to smoke a pipe. He probably has a bunch of cardigan sweaters. Hillary? It looks like she's been bulking up for hockey season. She resembles a bloated chipmunk. Unfortunately, I fear that none of my observations are very helpful to the common person trying to decide upon whom to cast a vote. What about that guy Huckabee? I wonder if he ever cooked chipmunk in his popcorn popper in college? That would be a good story, don't you think?
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Lizards hide from snow
The weather today was awesome! It was probably around 70 degrees outside, sunny, and a little breezy. I love weather like that. I spent a lot of time outdoors today. The days are getting longer, too. Pretty soon, daylight savings will kick in and the days will be even longer. The kids love this weather, too. They like to ride their scooters around the driveway. The little boy with blond hair is into baseball. The girl indulges him some. She plays with him for awhile, but then she gets bored and changes the rules of the game. The little blond haired boy will cry and holler about the unfairness of it all. Yesterday, the big kid came home and whacked the little blond haired boy with a stick. The big kid claimed it was an accident, but it wasn't. I saw the whole thing. Kids. But enough about them . . .
This is the end of winter and the beginning of spring. There is an anticipation in the air that is contagious. We've been cooped up all winter long inside the house beside the fireplace. My roommate refuses to raise the thermostat above 70 degrees, so the change in the weather outside is a welcome change. Listening to the dopey weather guy on the news tonight was disheartening, though. He says that the weather is about to change again in the morning. No more sun, rain moving in, severe weather is possible, and there will be snow later on in the week. I wish the weather would make up it's mind already.
I'm ready for lizards to come out again. I love trying to catch those things! But lizards don't like cold weather.
This is the end of winter and the beginning of spring. There is an anticipation in the air that is contagious. We've been cooped up all winter long inside the house beside the fireplace. My roommate refuses to raise the thermostat above 70 degrees, so the change in the weather outside is a welcome change. Listening to the dopey weather guy on the news tonight was disheartening, though. He says that the weather is about to change again in the morning. No more sun, rain moving in, severe weather is possible, and there will be snow later on in the week. I wish the weather would make up it's mind already.
I'm ready for lizards to come out again. I love trying to catch those things! But lizards don't like cold weather.
Saturday, March 1, 2008
I'll keep the couch warm
Tomorrow is Sunday and I suppose the family will go to church. I won't go, however. I'll just stay home and enjoy the peace and quiet of the house. I know why my family goes to church. They go for fellowship and the chance to worship God. But guess what else will happen while they are there? People will gossip. People will spread rumors. People will say hurtful things about folks they are supposed to be in communion with. God will be shoved aside and the people's selfish agendas will take precedence. The organ will be too loud, the Lenten hymns will not be recognized by anyone in the pews, and the preacher will grandstand. Sunday school attendance will be low and the people who showed up for Sunday school will try to figure out why no one comes to church anymore. (I bet they'll blame my roommate . . . )! The coffee will be bad and the grade school kids will eat all the cookies before the adults can make it to the Fellowship Hall. Organized religion can be such a bugger-boo sometimes. I guess I'm being pessimistic - perhaps even shallow . . . but -
I'll work on that, but in the meantime, I'm sleeping in tomorrow.
I'll work on that, but in the meantime, I'm sleeping in tomorrow.
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