Trick or Treat?

The best thing about being a lazy slob is the opportunity that it affords one to eavesdrop. If you are lazy enough, people will eventually forget that you are even there, and they will be comfortable enough to say anything. Over the years I've noticed how my roommate and his girlfriend behave when they need to talk about something "important," but they are unable to do so because "certain" people are present. They have their own unspoken language that is intended to be secretive to all except for them. They have gotten pretty efficient in getting people out of a room so they can talk. They are cool as the other side of the pillow when they utilize nonverbal communication skills in a room full of people. They understand each other completely without saying a word.

They think they are so clever, and truth be told, they really are. I have to give them credit. They've honed this skill to near perfection. They are deluded, however if they think that they have been able to fool me. A room can clear, but I am still there. They can smoothly make believable excuses to exit a room to find solitude together, but I follow. They think the coast is clear, so to speak, but I am always there. They pride themselves in the fact that they share a special confidentiality that not even the brightest intelligence expert could detect. They believe that they have secrets. They believe that nobody knows what they discuss in their most private moments.

HA!

I am the dust bunny under the bed. I am the neglected sock in the corner behind the bedroom door. I am the forgotten glass of water left on the bathroom counter. I am the penny that fell behind the dresser. I am the empty Kleenex box sitting on the bedside table. I hear everything they say. I interpret all of their body language. I know what is happening in this house. My roommate and his girlfriend are an open book. They think they are so smart! HA! They have no secrets! They can hide nothing from me!

Now if I could only figure out the short curly haired girl so well.

Honestly - I never saw that plastic jack-o-lantern coming; nor did I ever believe she could actually get my whole head inside of it . . .