I am not well. In fact, I'm downright bad off these days. I know I haven't posted in almost a week, and for that, I am truly apologetic, but lately I've had issues - serious issues. In fact, if the truth were to be revealed, I haven't even been around the house lately. Lately, I don't even feel welcome there.

Let's start with tonight and work backwards, shall we? Around 8 or so this evening, I slipped back to the bedroom to go to sleep. Everyone else was awake, and I figured that I'd get a jump start on the household. Around 9 or so, the whole room started to shake. I shot straight up and looked around in the darkness. It sounded like a helicopter was landing on the roof! I was so startled I almost bumped my head on the bed. My roommate was nowhere to be found, which wasn't unusual as it wasn't late enough for him to be asleep yet. Again, the hideous noise ripped through the bedroom. I instinctively ducked as if a low flying object would buzz my head at any moment. The noise echoed in my ears and crescendoed into a vile sucking sound that nearly drove me mad. As I made my quick exit from the bedroom, my curiosity caused me to fling one last glance over my shoulder, and what I saw actually should have instantly calmed me, but instead, I was thrown into a state of sheer annoyance. The hell beast, helicopter, emerging vortex sound that jolted me out of a deep sleep was coming from my roommate's girlfriend. I guess I had been so tired that I didn't hear her come to bed.

Snoring. I used to have a dog whose snores rivaled the sounds of 18 wheeler accidents on busy freeways, but tonight, the girlfriend surpassed even the most sincere snoring efforts of that dog - may she rest in peace.

Actually, I'm still so flustered by my disturbed sleep, I don't feel as if I can continue to write tonight. This incident came at the end of an incredibly stressful day that included a chunky black kid, a ravenous, stray Doberman Pincher, a sweaty, screaming, curly haired girl, and a school bus full of screaming public school kids. I simply can't continue tonight. I must leave and pace around the balcony to calm my frazzled nerves.

I'll gather myself and continue tomorrow evening. (Even though you'll never believe it).