Hide the nuts! Here comes Hillary!

I don't understand politics at all. There is a presidential election coming up, and from what I can gather, there are three people who are in the running: Hillary Clinton, Barak Obama, and John McCain. Some people really keep up with the candidates and know what they all stand for. Some people are Democrats and some people are Republicans. Some vote along party lines; some vote according to the positions of the candidates. Not me, though. I'm shallow, and I readily admit it. I go by appearances only. McCain looks mean. He probably cuts people off in traffic and then laughs about it. Obama looks like a contemplative professor who likes to smoke a pipe. He probably has a bunch of cardigan sweaters. Hillary? It looks like she's been bulking up for hockey season. She resembles a bloated chipmunk. Unfortunately, I fear that none of my observations are very helpful to the common person trying to decide upon whom to cast a vote. What about that guy Huckabee? I wonder if he ever cooked chipmunk in his popcorn popper in college? That would be a good story, don't you think?