Apple juice and tweety birds

I heard my roommate's girlfriend pestering him about getting her minivan serviced tomorrow. That can only mean one thing: she is going on vacation, and when she goes on vacation, that means that the KIDS go on vacation, too! Oh what joy, I'm beginning to feel! The quiet will be a welcomed long lost friend. No more refereeing fights between the long haired pretty girl and the short kid with glasses. No more running in fear of my life from the little curly haired demon. I might miss the tall kid, though. He actually has some redeeming qualities. I might miss the baby, too. So far, she's been harmless.

I actually kind of like the new little one. She doesn't do much but sit around and gurgle. I like to watch her. She has recently been working on making intentional faces. She recognizes people now, and she smiles at them. It is really neat to watch, but I try not to get too attached, because I fear that sooner or later she will do the same thing that all the others have done - learn to walk and live to terrorize me and the rest of the household.

My roommate says that this baby is the last one - he promises. On one hand, this fact is reassuring to me. On the other hand, this fact also makes me extremely paranoid. What if she turns out to be the wildest one of the bunch? Ooooh - I can't think about that right now. It gives me a headache. Besides, I can't wrap my mind around the possibility that anyone could be worse than the curly haired girl.

For instance, this morning I was minding my own business watching a completely non-riveting interview of a woman who had found the secret to deep pore excavation through cleansers made with cucumbers and vanilla bean extract conducted by the equally as non-riveting Ann Cury on the Today show. I had just had a little breakfast, and I was quietly collecting my thoughts for the beginning of the day, when out of the blue, WHAM!!! I was beaned in the head with a hard plastic sippy cup full of apple juice. The pain was exquisite. I actually saw birds circling my head. My roommate, the prince of a guy he is, didn't even check to see if I was okay. He just picked up the cup and gave it back to the devil. To his credit, he did mention to the girl that it wasn't nice to throw her drinks. Jeesh.

Naw. There's noway this new kid can come close to being as scary as the curly haired little kid. There just can't be.