Close call

Elmer Fudd always tells people to be very, very, quiet, because he is hunting for wabbits. Tonight I identified with old Elmer. My roommate had gone to eat supper with his parents tonight as his girlfriend and the kids are out of town. He has been spending a lot more time at work over the past few days with everybody gone. I guess he has been trying to catch up with stuff that he has been putting off recently. With nobody at home, he has no obligations. I could care less if he comes home at all, to be truthful. Just as long as I have food, I'm good.

Anyway, tonight while my roommate was gone, I decided to check out the storage room downstairs. This is the room where the stupid dogs sleep at night. That room is full of boxes that have not been unpacked since we moved into this house. At any rate, I've been missing some of my stuff recently, and I decided that perhaps the stuff I've been missing is packed away in some of these boxes. I decided to take a look tonight while the roommate was out and the moronic dogs were outside.

I started going through the boxes. I was unsuccessful in finding what I was specifically looking for, but I was running across stuff that I had forgotten that we even had to begin with. It was sort of like skipping down memory lane, actually. I suppose that I was so engrossed with the boxes that I didn't realize that my roommate had come home and had let the dogs into the room where I was. They came bounding in huffing and puffing, panting and grunting. They both went to their food bowls and began to inhale their dog chow. It was as if they believed that if they didn't eat their food in less than 30 seconds, it would disappear or ruin like the excess manna non-trusting Israelites gathered against Yawheh's instruction. (DANG! I've got to quit hanging out with my roommate so much! Either that or he needs to hurry up and get out of Exdous in his Thursday noontime Bible study)!

ANYWAY - long story short - I was trapped in the room being "very, very, quiet" with these animals against my will! Fortunately, they were so enthralled with eating at the speed of light that they didn't realize that I was in there with them. On the other hand, I was terrified to call out for my roommate, because I did not want to draw attention to myself. What if they heard me and tried to eat me, too? Well, thank goodness for my roommate's ADD! When he fed the dogs, he forgot to give them water. Right when I was about to really freak out, my roommate opened the door again, and he was holding a pitcher of water. That was my moment! I quickly dropped the box top I was holding and ran out of the room unscathed by the slobbering beasts.

The girlfriend needs to come home. My roommate is an idiot anyway, but without her around, my life is in danger. The dude can't focus without her.