Deception

Some folks might call me a bad patient. I don't like doctors very much. I don't like being around people when I'm sick. And I especially don't like taking medicine - regardless of the fact that it can make me feel better and make me well again. I get restless. I'm grumpy. I have no patience for anything or with anybody.

Recently, as I have mentioned, I've been fighting a recurring UTI. The doctor told me I had to take shots to get well. Obviously, I can't give the shots to myself. In fact, I can't even imagine giving myself a shot. I have a deep admiration for those who have to administer shots to themselves on a daily basis; I'm just not one of those people!! I have to rely on my roommate or his girlfriend to give me my shots. Granted, I don't make it easy on them. I squirm and wiggle. I spit, hiss, and complain like there is no tomorrow, but at least when it is time for me to get medicated, I eventually let it happen.

Here's the thing, though. A few days ago, the girlfriend decides that she no longer wants to put up with the shenanigans that accompany me being medicated. She apparently decided that the best way to administer my shots was through deception. She sneaks up on me now, shot in hand, and virtually attacks me with medicine. My roommate is not even involved anymore with the procedure. Obviously, she can't wait around for him to be available for the twice daily ambushes. A clever fox, the girlfriend is.

For example, just yesterday I had been outside for a walk. The sun was bright and the day was absolutely gorgeous. I finished my walk and came home. In a moment that I obviously misinterpreted as the girlfriend's hospitality, she opened the back door for me to welcome me home. It was a nice gesture, to be sure, and I didn't think anything of it at the time. She even asked me if I would like something to drink, and I followed her into the kitchen, because after my walk, I was thirsty. As I stood in the kitchen enjoying my cool drink, two hands seized me from behind!

I would have lunged to get away, but as startled as I was, the water that I had been sipping was violently thrust into my lungs and I began to choke. I writhed around and twisted my head around to see what was happening to me just as the girlfriend gave me a shot. I was mortified to say the least! However, the girlfriend seemed to be all too proud of herself. So proud, in fact that she now sneaks up on me daily to give me my shots. My roommate is completely out of the shot giving equation now.

Ah! The deceptive and equally as sneaky girlfriend haunts my dreams! But I will have my revenge, and it will be sweet!