Dogs and Don Johnson

Here's the deal: I'm not really a "dog person." I mean, dogs are okay and everything, but I'm not the biggest fan. Ironically, however, I have two of them. They aren't really mine to be accurate. I merely live with them. They actually belong to my roomate. I was out on the balcony today after breakfast. The dogs were out in the backyard. I sat there for a few minutes just watching them as they did . . . . dog things. Both of them are Labradors. I suppose that they are good looking animals in a dog kind of way. I've seen more impressive specimens on the television. Some beagle recently won the Westminster Dog Show. Now HE was a dog one could be proud of . . . if you were a dog person, of course.

Labradors. Aren't they supposed to be sporting dogs? My research indicates that Labradors love the water. I thought that this particular breed of dog enjoys retrieving things that get shot and fall into bodies of frigid water. Bang, bang, splash, woof-woof, swim. Mindless retrieval, please owner, get a doggie treat. Right?

Remember - I have nothing against dogs. They just aren't my favorite of God's creatures. The sun was out today, and whereas it was not exactly warm outside, it wasn't raining either. Why then, as I looked down on these dogs, were they looking back up at me shivering? If they could talk, I imagined them saying something like, "Oh please let us in! It's cold out here!" Dumb.

Then, out of nowhere, I had the most hilarious thought. What if these dogs had opposable thumbs?

Suddenly, I was bored with the dogs, and I went back inside where my roomate was watching a re-run of Nash Bridges. Man! He's an idiot, but that's a topic for another day.